Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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