Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
