he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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