batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
