You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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