I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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