Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
