There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
