The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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