Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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