Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
