I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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