are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Fuck appropriateness.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
