why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize