i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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