How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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