It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
