That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
