I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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