the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
