Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
