stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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