just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
