We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
