At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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