happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
