For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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