i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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