hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
