Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
