You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
