They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
