My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
