I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
