I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
