p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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