Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
