Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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