Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize