I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize