your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
