hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
bring money and cleavage
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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