hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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