great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
