Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
