What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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