no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
