When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
