Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize