I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
