whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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