I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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