This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
