I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
