I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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