walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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