If i come over, it means nothing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
