angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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