i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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