I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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