3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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