My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
