I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
