So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
